by Mika Salaí


One of my favourite things about heterosexual marriages is their cultural practice of playing Sam Smith’s song Stay with Me at their wedding.

Because it just makes me wonder. Wonder wether they know. Wether they are laughingly aware of its implications, like someone may be laughing in the devil’s face. Is it boldness, or delusion?

Do they realize that they are dancing their first dance as institutionalized couple to lyrics such as This ain’t love, it’s clear to see ? Co-signed by their loved ones bearing witness?

And I suppose if you only listen to the first few lines, it may sound like a love story we all have been taught by movies, stories, and other nasty stuff


Guess its true, I’m not good at a one-night stand

But I still need love cause I’m just a man


Reads like the blue print for most romcoms and if you can, even the slightest, identify with that narrative and the constructed symbolism around love I suppose you might get a bit dreamy on three and four;


These nights never seem to go to plan

I don’t want you to leave, will you hold my hand?


Haven’t we all felt that in some type of way?

Nights that were supposed to be short and sweet that then quickly and unexpectedly turned into something else for better and for worse. People who we wanted to keep close, whose soft touch felt   like a deep hug, and simple strokes strike as intensely as kneading one does.


And deep down, I know this never works

But you could lay with me, so it doesn’t hurt


I may be able to relate to the craving for intimacy and, – within the context in which it was written, a one night stand – even the fainting hope of covering up emotional wounds with the physical bodies of other people. Though applied to the person you are vowing to spend the rest of your life with I find it hard to see past the ringing of clinging codependency.

Maybe I just wish for your boldness over your self-delusion. I’d rather embrace your triumph and your failure, then be part of a performance which betrays you. 

I may not agree with the constructed binary around gender, but by all means I do support the heterosexual marriage. I particularly encourage all wives to seek out whores like their husbands do. The pleasures you will find upon yourself. And possibly within. 

So for the love of all gay gods –

Get your lick back!