One should not be deceived by ambitious power politics and an overbearing desire for pleasure; both are symptoms of the blackest depression. Instead of striving to win a kingdom of heaven through religious zeal or a place in history through heroic deeds, all that remains is the modest desire to pass their earthly existence in lust: life as “nothing but the fattest possible last meal”
I saw myself as a dancer. I wanted to devote myself completely to this passion. Through dance training at the ballet studio, my love for classical music and violin music in particular grew. This great, yearning love endures to this day. I love the lyrical sound of the vibrating strings under the hastily gliding bow. In my penchant for drama and lived melancholy, the violin is my sensitive lover. In everyday life, I like to dance to the Klezmer sounds of Bei mir bist du schejn; my favourite version (there are many) is the one with the foreground violin.
Rahel: Me too! Me too! I love this song! It’s like an anthem to me!
Djuna: What do you want to break?
Elsa: A chocolate Easter bunny.
Djuna: What was your most carefree, easy moment?
Elsa: Last summer: swimming naked in the ocean and then nestling my cold body against the warm rock.
Djuna: What would you like to experience with a guest that you haven’t yet?
Elsa: New Year’s Eve in Las Vegas.
Djuna: What do you love about Haetera?
Elsa: That we all are all a bit crazy and get to nurture it!
My new life as a lobby whore, or how an honourable gentleman kindly asked me to relinquish my civil liberties. #respectsexwork is something.
I don’t want to belong. I don’t want respect. I don’t want to be accepted, nor proper, nor fitting. I want the resentment, the hate of all who say of themselves they are normal.
After all most are suspicious. One is vigilant against participating in something only because everyone else is. A banal insight, really, anything but creative, the moral of every other great novel. Everyone dies for themselves alone. Nonetheless, people don’t get it into their heads that they’re alone, transcendentally lonely, solo, and can’t talk themselves out of it by saying they’re only doing what everybody does, that they’re adapting to the circumstances.
And if you get pregnant that is a divine gift, the greatest blessing of all! I love pregnant women!
He even said when I’m heavy with child, with a sphere for a belly and full breasts, he would definitely want to see me. I wouldn’t have to worry anymore, you can’t get doubly pregnant, hahaha.
Haha, and you’d also pay alimony?
Come off it, he said sternly, I’m not going to let you take advantage of me!
Hahaha, I laughed once more, snatched my things, my fee, and left the hotel room.